Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
did i just pee glitter
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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