What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
