just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
