What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
