it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
