You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
