he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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