I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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