Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
