like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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