He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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