The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
