So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
