Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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