You were right. It hurts to walk today.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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