Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I have aggressive nipples.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
