I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
