I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
