Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize