I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
