Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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