you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
