Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
