If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
