i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
