i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
