i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
this boner is exhausting
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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