Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
