Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
