I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
