how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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