farters have to be the big spoon...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
