do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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