i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
