you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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