I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
wow bdsm is so cute
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