apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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