There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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