I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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