Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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