Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
