That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
