my mouth tastes like poor choices
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
