What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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