I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
