i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
