I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
how does that bad decision feel?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
