Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I touched a dick in church today
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
