Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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