My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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