Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
