wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
