"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
