so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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