fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
