My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize