I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
