I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize