AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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