i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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