I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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