So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
